Help Your Child Overcome School Stress

"Help Your Child Overcome School Stress"

After “No Child Left Behind” from the Bush era, the public schools drastically changed. For better or worse, they have changed. Now kids begin routine standardized testing in elementary school nation-wide. This puts a lot of stress on kids today at a very young age, when they are still learning how to cope with stressors. 

Whether your child is in elementary school or college, nerves are nerves and academic & social pressure from school achievements & acceptability is great at all ages. While you may feel helpless because things like standardized testing are out of our control as parents, there is so much you can do for your child at home to help them prepare emotionally for these stressors. 

Ways You Can Help Your Kids:

1. Know the signs of stress: changes in sleep patterns or nightmares, difficulty focusing, paying attention or remembering things you ask of them. Ie. you ask them to take out the trash and then wash their hands and help you set the table and they get as far as step one & forget two & three. Forgetfulness is a common side effect of an overwhelmed mind.

2. At the first sign of stress talk to your kids about it. Ask them how they feel about their classes and the test a teacher gives. If you only tell them to study harder you may be increasing their felt stress; this won’t help them absorb what they are trying to learn. While they may need to be encouraged to study they do need to also be encouraged to recognize their feelings so they can let them out. If they are too nervous before the exam they will likely do poorly no matter how well they studied. 

3. Sometimes it helps to set appropriate study times & positive reinforcements such as rewards not just for doing well but for studying & reaching out for extra help, etc. 

4. If your children are in high school & college I would encourage you to also be mindful of the warning signs of drug use as nation-wide there is an epidemic in substance abuse to push academic achievement. Namely the abuse of prescribed or illegally bought ADD medications for their “upper” effects which allow the student to tax their body & stay up past their time “focused.” However, things learned under the influence cannot be remembered accurately or for long term sober & these drugs are habit forming (which can of course worsen your child’s stress levels to an even more unhealthy level).

My children are two of the most wonderful men today, both in college working hard and I know that many days they are extremely stressed out by their studies. The best thing I can do for them is listen, being involved is the most important thing for a parent to be.

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Author : by Mark Dworkin LCSW 

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Preventing Child Abuse

The reason why parents hire nannies is to keep watch over their kids while they are away from home. Sadly, the very nannies that parents hire are the ones who commit child abuse to the children, without the parents knowing it. If you notice your child being afraid of going back home right after school or changes in school performance, this may prompt you to something about it. Any display of infantile behavior like thumb-sucking, nail-biting, head-banging, rocking, and other disturbing behaviors which he does not normally do, these are signs that there must be something troubling your child. This may be due to emotional abuse.

Sometimes, parents have to hire a nanny to leave their kids with. To get to know the nanny applicants, they are interviewed, screened, and hired by agencies. Unfortunately, some parents do not have the luxury of time to be with their children and talk to them. Usually, parents are not aware of what is happening to their kids lives. Because of this, most parents do not know that their children are already in pain from an abusive nanny. You will see that there are actually many types of abuse and the most common are emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse and medical abuse.

When you think that your children are being abused, you can talk to them alone and ask them nicely about the day. Any signs of fear or worry are the things you should watch out for. Try to reassure her that you wont tell anyone or that you are there to protect her. Inspect the child for any bruises, burns or perhaps injuries.

If you do not want your child to suffer from the negative consequences of child abuse, do whatever you can to prevent it from happening. To do this, it is not that easy because even family members or people whom you think you can entrust your child to have the possibility of committing this crime.

These days, there is that most important gadget used and that is the nanny cam. This also available online too. There are so many different places that you can put the surveillance cameras such as in the living room, kitchen, within the childs nursery room, playroom, etc. The kind of camera that you can tuck it anywhere in your house, or you can select a nanny cam which can be placed inside a stuffed toy, figurine, or any other home daccor is the wireless camera. Take time to look for the best surveillance camera for your needs because it can absolutely help you look after your child even when you are away from home.

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The Five Principles of Performance

Much of success is about performance. It’s about what we do and what we are able to inspire others to do. There are some simple performance principles I have learned in my life, and I want to share them with you. They really bring success, and what it takes to be successful, into sharp focus. They are also the basis for developing and maintaining an expectation of success.

The Five Principles of Performance

1. We generally get from ourselves and others what we expect. It is a huge fact that you will either live up or down to your own expectations. If you expect to lose, you will. If you expect to be average, you will be average. If you expect to feel bad, you probably will. If you expect to feel great, nothing will slow you down. And what is true for you is true for others. Your expectations for others will become what they deliver and achieve. As Gandhi said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

2. The difference between good and excellent companies is training. The only thing worse than training employees and losing them is to not train them and keep them! A football team would not be very successful if they did not train, practice, and prepare for their opponents. When you think of training as practice and preparation, it makes you wonder how businesses survive that do not make significant training investments in their people. Actually, companies that do not train their people and invest in their ability don’t last. They operate from a competitive disadvantage and are eventually gobbled up and defeated in the marketplace. If you want to improve and move from good to excellent, a good training strategy will be the key to success.

3. You find what you look for in life. If you look for the good things in life, you will find them. If you look for opportunities to grow and prosper, you will find them. If you look for positive, enthusiastic friends and associates who will support you, you will find them. On the other hand, if you look for ways to cheat, you will cheat. If you look for ways to justify leaving your spouse, you will find them. If you look for justifiable reasons to hold a grudge against another person, you will find those, too. It is a natural tendency of us all to look for things that will justify what we think we need or want. If you are not living by the foundation stones of honesty, character, integrity, faith, love, and loyalty, you will be drawn to seeking selfish gratification, and that leads to misery and unfulfilled dreams. Whatever you have will never be enough. Always look for the good and for ways to help others.

4. Never make a promise without a plan. Far too many people make promises they can never keep. They may have the best intentions in the world to keep their promise, but if they have not made a plan to keep it, they will not be able to do it. Business leaders who make promises to their employees will not honor them if they do not create a plan on how the promises will be kept. If you make a future commitment, you must understand and be willing to do whatever it takes to complete that commitment. One of the reasons marriage commitments fail so frequently is because the husband and wife do not understand what it takes to have a great marriage. They do not plan for or understand the sacrifices each must make for the other to enable a long-lasting relationship.

5. Happiness, joy, and gratitude are universal if we know what to look for. I believe you can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want. All people want happiness and joy in their life, but you have to know what produces real happiness and how to do the things that produce it. The moment you begin to worry about the things you want and the things you don’t have in life is the moment you will lose your gratitude for what you actually have. If you are ungrateful, you will never be satisfied or content or joyful about your life. The greatest source of happiness is the ability to be grateful at all times.

 By Zig Ziglar

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Be a Modern Hero

We live in troubled times. The news is filled with violence, economic turmoil, political gridlock, and, it seems, the almost total abandonment of fundamental values such as courtesy, integrity, respect, modesty, accountability, cooperation, and optimism. Are we on a slippery slope to total chaos? Is there any hope for our children to live in a peaceful, civilized society? Is there anything you and I can do?

I’ll let you in on a secret: in the entire history of the world, the future has seldom ever looked brighter than it does right now.

What?! What about all of the bad news? What about riots and falling stocks, and incivility?

The truth is that we have always had trouble of one kind or another. That is the nature of human existence. Charles Dickens summed up our days as well as his with the classic phrase: "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." True heroes, past and present, are not defined by the circumstances in which they find themselves. They are heroes because of what they do in spite of their circumstances—because of how they improve, build, and lift themselves and others. They refuse to be simply swept along with the tide of pessimism. Instead, they see opportunities, bolster hope, and provide vision.

We truly live in amazing times. I remember distinctly the day that my father purchased one of the first hand-held calculators that came on the market in the early 1970’s. It was about the size of a pack of 3X5 cards. It could add, subtract, multiply and divide. That’s it. At the time, it seemed like a modern miracle. Today, I can reach into my pocket and pull out a device that is smaller than that original calculator. Not only can it add, subtract, multiply and divide, I can use it to carry on a conversation with any of my friends, virtually anywhere, at the push of a button. But that’s not all. I can use the device to record audio and video with resolutions unheard of in 1970. I can ask any question or search for any fact and receive immediate answers through the world wide web. I can purchase a book and instantly read it on my device. I can put the equivalent of 1000 LP records full of songs or other audio recordings on the device and instantly retrieve the specific item I want to listen to. I can keep my calendar, address book, to-do list, and personal reminders on the device and have it remind me of important events. I can watch movies, pay bills, instantly send and receive electronic mail, and even hold a video conference with someone on the other side of the world—and, I can do all this while walking around unhindered by wires or cords.

We live in a day of astounding technological wonders, and we’ve made similar advances in medicine, exploration, science, and social equality over the past 40 years. Generally speaking, we live at a higher standard of living, have more freedom, and have more educational opportunities than ever in the history of the world. What will the next 40 years bring? The future has never looked brighter. So, why aren’t we hearing about this from the news media? Because their job is to search out and expose things in our society that need to change. The mistake people make is assuming that what is on the news is all the news there is. Not true. There are plenty of amazing, wonderful, positive things going on if we’ll just watch for them.

How can you be one of the heroes of our day? Look for good news, for it is all around you. Search for opportunities to better your neighborhood and society. Incorporate fundamental virtues such as honesty, respect, kindness, and positive expectation into your own life. Be an example of the kind of person you hope to see in others. Soon people will follow your lead. For just as pessimism and incivility can infect and drag our society down, so likewise can your vision of a bright future coupled with integrity, responsibility, and courtesy tend to elevate and improve those around you.

Can we really make a difference? Yes! The combined efforts of each of us—building hope, providing vision, encouraging civility—can have a lasting and powerful impact.

Success Tip: Be a modern hero. Go against the grain of pessimistic whining. Visualize a bright future. Spread good news. Become the person you want to see in others. Build, lift, encourage—and change the world.

By Bill Mansell

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Take Control of Your Time

Time is strange commodity. We often talk of saving time, spending time, running out of time, or not having enough time - as if time were money in a bank account. The reality is that we each receive a check for 24 hours each day. No one is given any more or less than anyone else. It can be neither saved nor stored. It must be used, all of it, every day.

The big question of life is: are you going to invest your time wisely, or waste it frivolously? Time management is nothing more than focusing on this all-important question. Some people shun the thought of time management because they think it means they have to work all of the time or be productive every minute. That's not it at all. Time management is simply deciding what you value the most, and then spending your time on those things. Spending the day at the lake with your family, for example, can be an excellent time investment. It all depends on what you have decided in advance is your highest priority.

The most life-changing thing you will do is to sit down with yourself and write out what your highest priorities are. Then, plan goals, activities, and events that will support those things that you value most. This might take you several hours at the beginning, and as much as an hour per week going forward. But, it will change your life! Make your plan balanced and achievable. Plan for all areas that are important to you: from professional development to recreation, family, financial, social, and spiritual. Set aside chunks of time that you can invest in the most important things to you. With your priorities and your plan in mind, frequently ask yourself: what is the best use of my time right now? And then do it.

Most people never take the time to make this critical investment in themselves. As a result, they wander through life, unconsciously frittering away their valuable time on useless, meaningless activities.

For example, the average Indian today watches 44 hours of television per week. Think about that. That's more time than most people spend on the job. Now for the most startling fact: most of that time is spent watching something that they don't even like or enjoy. That's right. Many get so trapped in the TV habit that they spend much of their time flipping through channels looking for something, anything, to watch. I'm not saying that TV is bad. There are some great programs. The key to television is to use your power. If you will look on your remote control, there is a button that says POWER. When you have a quality program that you want to see, use your power and watch it. When it is over (and this is the most important skill) use your power again, and turn it off. Channel surfing is the biggest time waster of all.

Experts agree that much of our time is wasted on unproductive activities. Generally speaking, 80% of our results come from only 20% of our activities. Here is a list of other time-wasters that can sabotage your efforts to spend your time on the most important thing.

• Telephone interruptions
• Drop-in visitors
• Unscheduled meetings
• Crises / Urgent Tasks
• Coffee-pot socializing
• Lack of clear goals
• Ineffective delegation
• Procrastination
• A cluttered desk
• The inability to say NO
• Lack of self-discipline
• Unclear communication

 

Ultimately, you have complete control of your life - how you will act, what you will think, and how you will spend your time. But we often let outside forces take over to set our objectives, limit our choices, and plan our day. Use the tools in this article to break through these constraints and take charge of your own life. It will lower your stress, reduce anxiety and guilt, and increase your happiness and productivity. Try it, what have you got to lose?

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Women In Leadership

Question raised during a recent success survey:

Why are there fewer women than men in leadership and management positions?

My perception is that this is changing, as women throughout the world are now better educated and make up a greater proportion of the working population than ever before. 

Also, as the skills previously thought to be more ‘feminine’ – the interpersonal and communication or soft skills - are now being recognised more widely as traits of good leaders. It’s apparent that the command and control culture of previous generations no longer works in today’s society and in today’s organisations, because we now expect so much more.

On the other hand, many women have come to the realisation that society’s idea of success – having it all; a partner, family, career, home, a good income, nice car and regular holidays – comes at a high price. The price is often a lack of time to enjoy life, a lack of energy and enthusiasm and a feeling that ‘there must be more to life than this!’ This realisation is causing more and more of them to examine their definition of success and to define it in a way that suits them better both personally and professionally.

Many of these women (and some men) want to lead a more balanced and satisfying life, with the time and energy to enjoy their work and home and social life and feel more fulfilled generally. To many this means not working as many hours and this includes not applying for more senior positions because of what is expected in terms of the ‘quantity’ of time they must commit to work, rather than the ‘quality.’ 

I’m not one who blame the situation on men. I actually believe They’ve brought a lot of it on themselves by buying into society’s view of how she can ‘have it all.’ 

So until they can have more serious discussions generally about how they define success and about what that means for the way they do business and the way she live their lives, then it will be difficult to change to a position where there are actually more women than men in leadership and management positions!

On the other hand, these days women are taking more personal responsibility for their own success and for getting on in business and this includes starting up new businesses themselves. In many parts of the world women entrepreneurs and female business owners are the fastest growing part of the economy!

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The education of the future - following the example of Finland

 

‘You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.’

Kahlil Gibran, On Children

We can not aim to prepare our children for the careers of the future. We live in such a dynamic world that what was a norm 10 years ago, almost certainly will not be our reality in 10 years. The education of the future is much more challenging, shifting further away from ‘spelling and formulas’ towards the development of cognitive thinking where children are given tools to develop their-own world, when their time comes.

Apple, Microsoft, Amazon, Google, to name just a few, all started as small companies with a few people with an idea, a talent, and motivation to innovate. So, to educate leaders and innovators of the future, we need an education system that nurtures the love for learning and promotes creativity and innovation.

Finland is this century's icon of educational reform success, with its students repeatedly winning all the top results in international rankings. Some four decades after Finland overhauled its educational system, many countries try to learn from its example.

So, what are the lessons that we could learn from the Finish educational model?

1. Finnish have only public schools, the country has closed all the private ones. Before the reform, Finland had large learning differences between schools, with urban students typically outperforming their low income peers. Today, students do well regardless of their socio-economic status.

2. The Finnish vision is that every child has some talents and those who struggle in certain subjects are given an assistant to help them in their progress. No one is left behind.

3. Within their educational reform, the Finns have at first, eliminated the practice of separating students into different tracks based on their test scores, and then they eliminated the examinations altogether. Finnish children never take a standardized test. Tests are not used to compare pupils or teachers or schools to each other.

4. Children in Finland start Primary School at age seven. The idea is that before that time they learn best through play, and by the time they get to the school environment they are keen to start learning. 

5. Teaching is a prestigious career in Finland and teachers are highly valued. All teachers are required to have higher academic degrees and this guarantees the high quality of teaching.

6. The highly trained teachers have autonomy to make decisions about what and how to teach, they participate in the design of the curriculum of their class, supported by the very lean national standards (featuring fewer than 10 pages of guidance for all of mathematics, for example). The Finns also made sure that competent teachers who can shape the best learning conditions for their students are in all the schools.

7. Teachers keep the same pupils in their classroom for several years. This helps the trust develop between the teacher and the students.

8. Children study in a relaxed and informal atmosphere and teachers use methods that encourage ‘thinking’, experimenting, project work, and collaboration. In a typical classroom, students will not be sitting down listening to the teacher, they would be working with other students in small groups, completing projects or writing articles for their own magazine. The teacher nurture independence and active learning, allowing students to develop skills to understand and solve problems.

9. Finnish schools are generally small with relatively small classrooms (around 20s). All students receive a free meal daily, free health care, transport, and learning materials. They also have plenty of holidays - compared to the Europeans, Finnish children spend the fewest number of hours in the classroom.

The success of the Finish model is not within a competition based environment that is highly relying upon exams, but it is built on the idea that less can be more. There is a strong emphasis on relaxed schools that nurture creativity, questioning, and in-depth subject analysis. Arts, music and sports are integral part of every child’s curriculum.

It is interesting that some of the alternative schools’ founders of the last century (Steiner and Montessori) have worked on the exact same principles when shaping their schools of the future. Their knowledge of human nature and children development patterns have influenced the pioneers of educational shift that is happening during the last few decades.

Sir Ken Robinson, an internationally recognized expert in human creativity, talking about educational reform within the video "Changing Education Paradigms," invites the educational bodies to re-think their policies that advocate competition as the key driver of educational improvement. Indeed, the Finnish experience shows that focus on creativity and cooperation can lead to an education system where all children learn well.

Author : By Natasa Pantovic Nuit,

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