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After “No Child Left Behind” from the Bush era, the public schools
drastically changed. For better or worse, they have changed. Now kids
begin routine standardized testing in elementary school nation-wide.
This puts a lot of stress on kids today at a very young age, when they
are still learning how to cope with stressors.
Whether your child is in elementary school or college, nerves are
nerves and academic & social pressure from school achievements &
acceptability is great at all ages. While you may feel helpless because
things like standardized testing are out of our control as parents,
there is so much you can do for your child at home to help them prepare
emotionally for these stressors.
Ways You Can Help Your Kids:
1. Know the signs of stress: changes in sleep patterns or nightmares,
difficulty focusing, paying attention or remembering things you ask of
them. Ie. you ask them to take out the trash and then wash their hands
and help you set the table and they get as far as step one & forget
two & three. Forgetfulness is a common side effect of an overwhelmed
mind.
2. At the first sign of stress talk to your kids about it. Ask them
how they feel about their classes and the test a teacher gives. If you
only tell them to study harder you may be increasing their felt stress;
this won’t help them absorb what they are trying to learn. While they
may need to be encouraged to study they do need to also be encouraged to
recognize their feelings so they can let them out. If they are too
nervous before the exam they will likely do poorly no matter how well
they studied.
3. Sometimes it helps to set appropriate study times & positive
reinforcements such as rewards not just for doing well but for studying
& reaching out for extra help, etc.
4. If your children are in high school & college I would
encourage you to also be mindful of the warning signs of drug use as
nation-wide there is an epidemic in substance abuse to push academic achievement. Namely the abuse of prescribed or illegally bought ADD
medications for their “upper” effects which allow the student to tax
their body & stay up past their time “focused.” However, things
learned under the influence cannot be remembered accurately or for long
term sober & these drugs are habit forming (which can of course
worsen your child’s stress levels to an even more unhealthy level).
My children are two of the most wonderful men today, both in college
working hard and I know that many days they are extremely stressed out
by their studies. The best thing I can do for them is listen, being
involved is the most important thing for a parent to be.
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Author : by Mark Dworkin LCSW
